Now, just because I wanna get married and just because I wanna play does not mean that I AM going to do what I have always done.

And doing what I have always done has gotten me what I’ve always gotten and I AM pretty, definitely sure Albert Einstein said “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

So even though I may have thought I wanted someone new.

I have since learned that someone is…me.

It’s actually kind of hot.

I AM and have been looking at the lengths I have gone to, to love other people, and I mean, I AM really fucking special.

It’s actually really sexy, and impressive the way that I pay attention so closely and so deeply to exactly what my lover would need or want or think before they think it, and that is really fucking special.

And! I have never actually dated. Like, ever. Do you know how many first dates and first kisses and experiences I now get to have?

I get to fall in love. For real this time.

I get to fall in love with who someone really is instead of who I romanticize that they are.

I have got to give it to myself though, I have come up with some really great and sexy ideas in my head.

My head.

Me.

My love.

It’s me.

It’s always been me.

If I can turn these men into something they’re not imagine what I can turn me into?

And imagine how much fun I can have in the mean time.

I mean, I get to do whatever the fuck I want right?

That’s hot.

I’m hot.

I AM SO HOT.

And smart.

And funny.

This is gonna be fun.

I realize it sounds like I am a desperate, heartbroken girl, and… I AM not.

This is a reclamation of ME, and me coming into my value and my worth and realizing I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HER.

And she is ready to come out and play.

PLAY.

I told you I was ready to play.

Now, I get to show you.

And, it’s VALENTINE’S DAY?!!?

How much fun can we have for Valentine’s Day?

Mission accepted.

amen